Cannonball!!

     As I sit here staring at the big blank white screen, I am filled with anxiety and overcome with numerous emotions.  This blog has been up and ready for me to write on and share our story with you...for months.  BUT, this Mama Bear has withheld posting and sharing for more excuses reasons than I can began to count. First, I'm protective over those I love and the thought of what I post on here being judged, talked about, and disagreed with brings the redneck out in me hurts. However, it's reality and the Lord wants His story, our testimony, to be shared. Second, it's hard to be vulnerable in front of those you know and even those you don't.  Though amazing blessings will be documented for us to be able to reflect on in the coming years, it's also going to be a place where others and myself will relive the hard times of life.  That being said...I'm stepping my big toe into the pool to test the water...then regardless of the temperature will just jump in  (I'm not one to gradually get in the cold pool).  Make room folks... CANNONBALL time!!!

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*The music playing behind me is an old hymn, one of my MawMaw's favorites, "Because He Lives."  As I'm scared to wear my heart on my sleeve and share our story with you, it's a gentle reminder that:

How sweet to hold a newborn baby,
And feel the pride and joy he gives;
But greater still the calm assurance:
This child can face uncertain days because He Lives!

Because He lives, I can face tomorrow,
Because He lives, all fear is gone;
Because I know He holds the future,
And life is worth the living,
Just because He lives!

     My hubby and I have always wanted a house full of kids. I've worked with kids my entire life, and was probably the girl my friends and family thought would have a housefull by now.  However, the Lord always has better plans than our own.  We were blessed to become pregnant with twins in early summer of 2010. Upon having early complications, it was diagnosed as a blighted ovum which is where the baby doesn't actually develop though the sacs still exist. Since there wasn't any harm to my body as there is with a typical miscarriage, I chose to wait it out and let it happen naturally. This took all the way until 13 weeks of pregnancy (though doctors expected it to happen much sooner & didn't expect me to wait it out that long).  This was a very hard process but I learned a lot about myself and we learned a lot about each other.  Though we have yet to be told that we can't have children and there hasn't been any factors that make doctors believe that it's impossible, we still haven't. 
     Adoption has always been something I felt led to do and my hubs and I both openly considered this for our entire relationship.  Through many paths that only the Lord can lead us down, we pursued a little boy I had found on http://reecesrainbow.org in July of 2011.  As I shared his info to Scott and we prayed, neither of us felt led for certain one way or the other. Scott felt as though we should do as Peter did in the Bible and "get out of the boat" and keep our focus on the Lord. We both agreed that if he wasn't supposed to be our son that the Lord would close doors and send him to the family meant for him.  Unsure if this was a wild idea I had or not, we soon found out that it indeed was where we were supposed to be. Doors didn't just open, they flew open and confirmed that we were doing what we were supposed to be doing.  We started the process in the fall of last year (2011) and are still waiting to bring him home.

**** Many of you reading this will want to know who, what, when, why, or how regarding our adoption. And in due time, I hope you find the answer to those questions with posts on here or just in hearing our story in person.  We are adopting because we feel it is the gospel. Bottom line. If you are a Christian, you believe that Jesus Christ was sent to this earth a man, to die for our sins, so that you and I can have everlasting life. Even if you aren't, that still holds true. 
Ephesians 1:4-5, "For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love, he predestined us to be ADOPTED as his sons through Jesus Christ..."  I'm adopted into the family of God. God sent his son so that I may have life.  Why should I be above offering life to another human being as well?
James 1:27, "Religion that GOd our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress..."  You may not agree with it but it's biblical y'all. It's a call to all of us that call ourselves believers in Jesus Christ. No, everyone isn't called to physically adopt a child. But everyone is called to do something about the orphans and widows. Period. 

We aren't adopting out of charity, to get more jewels in our crowns, to give praises to ourselves or be seen as "holier than thou", etc. If I was going to do something for those reasons, it sure wouldn't involve another child's life.  We follow and obey as the Lord leads. He has led us to a beautiful, smiley boy via International Adoption. He doesn't look like us, our skin colors aren't anywhere close to being similar, but he is our son. Not our adopted son, but our son. Just as the Lord considers us His children, he is ours. Whether our children are biological or adopted, with or without special needs, & regardless of race, we view them as our children who may or may not share DNA but will share a family. This is not Plan "B" for our family, but the Lord's Plan "A."

A piece I wrote as part of my testimony/talk for a retreat I worked several months ago sums up my feelings best.

     The greatest example of God's love was the ultimate sacrifice of sending his son so that you may live.  Though those nannies and missionaries are great to that little guy and their love blows me away, nothing touches me more than the little boy's father.  Picture him carrying this almost lifeless child of his, too weak to even hold his head up when some friends his age are already walking.  A little boy who has recently lost his mother...a mother who chose life for her child in the first place and took a risk raising him in a country whose poverty we can't even grasp.  This father, who can probably barely feed himself, chooses an ultimate sacrifice.  He chooses what most of us can't bare to think about and that's giving up a child.  He intentionally carried his son to this orphanage in northern Haiti as his last chance to save his son's life.  He sacrificed his son for life too. 

      That little boy is only four years old and already an ambassador for Christ. He's changing my life without even knowing it. Those caring for him have taught me more about love and sacrifice in the past few months and I've never even met them.  Soon, someone I've never met will stand in lines for days on our behalf to show God's love for us and for that little guy at the orphanage just to finish paperwork to send him with a family.  And in just a few months, the lesser the better, my husband and I will travel to Haiti to pick up that adorable little boy I told you about who is literally a miracle.  I challenge you to love as these examples in my life have.  Every person we tell doesn't understand, every friend & family member doesn't agree with us mixing races, and a lot of people don't see how his father showed his son God's love by doing the same as God has done for us.  As Christians, we're called to be priests to others, we're called to love them as He has loved us.  We should want them to be a part of our Christian family!  But what He's speaking to you to do, where He's calling you to go, no matter who won't understand, we're sometimes asked to sacrifice huge things.  How UNASHAMED are you willing to be? Romans 1.16 "I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes..."

     Isaiah 6:8-9 says," Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, 'Whom shall I send? Who will be our messenger? I answered, 'I will go! Send me."

My brain is everywhere and this post is probably all over the place. I have so much to share with you that it's hard to filter it all right now.  We basically want to share the news that we are adopting (if you haven't figured that out already). As of right now, after a very long wait, we will bring him home by summer of this year! We will use this blog to update you on the process, let you know how to pray &/or support us, and just share with you what is going on in our lives & what the Lord is doing.  Feel free to ask me anything via email at hebrews11.8@aol.com

The water isn't as cold & shocking as it was when I started this post. But I'm ready to get out of the pool for right now...somebody hand me a towel!

PLEASE WATCH VIDEO :)